There’s this fable or tale or anecdote out there about the frog and the scorpion. The scorpion asks the frog to take him across the pond, and the frog responded:
F: No, you’ll sting me.
S: No I won’t. If I did we’d both die. That isn’t in my best interest.
So, the scorpion mounts the frogs back and the frog glides out into the dark green water when the scorpion stung him.
F: Why did you do that? Now we’re both going to die.
S: It’s in my nature.
I’ve been working with Mom in trying to build a better relationship with her by letting her in, and it has been going well. Until, the reason why I stopped sharing with her came back to me today like a ton of bricks being hurled at me one by one, each deftly hitting every tender spot on newly exposed heart, she used them against me. SHE EVEN USED THE SAME WORDS THAT I TOLD HER I FELT WERE HURTFUL.
Yes, it hurt, and yes, it’s my fault. I keep forgetting that just because I’m on a fast track right now, I’m trying to grow and heal she isn’t. Her nature is to be a manipulative bitch and to open myself up to that will only mean that I will drown, whether or not she goes down with me.
Good thing I have therapy tomorrow, huh.