Okay, here’s the sitch with not going to school this semester.
After Mom’s little tirades and big tirades about how I wasn’t earning my keep, how everyone keeps a 40 hour a week job and comes home and cooks dinner, does a load of laundry or two and then cleans and picks up after themselves……then swinging over to I’ll be too scared with you sleeping in a camp site with a knife for protection, they’ll just take it away from you and slice you open. They enjoy stuff like that…..You don’t care about me. I’m afraid I’m going to die alone and even with you here, you can’t even be helpful to me for that….. I’m going to stop now, my head is starting to hurt. Even with all her blustering I was set on going to school. I figured if I could work from home on Thursday, my sister coming in the evening to take care of her I could skip the traffic and nap before class and then with chemical aids like 5 hr. energy and soda I should be able to stay awake on the way home and not have to stay at the state park. Easy peasy. She wasn’t going to talk me out of going to school because she was scared. I was kind of looking forward to being that close to the beach to hear it in the morning when I got up.
I talked to my bestest friend in the world and she just simply said “There are too many moving parts to that plan to work well,” and I realized she was right. I think if she said the exact same thing as what my Mom said I probably would have listened to her. Yes, that sounds like an immature reaction on my end, but I know my BFF wants what’s best for me whereas my Mom just wants whats best for her, so I don’t trust any of her advise. I realize that is part of her narcissism, and I know in some ways she can’t control it. She has to realize something is wrong with herself before she can start changing, and she will never see the error of her ways. So after more thought and prayer and thinking as to what I could do to move my plans forward if I didn’t attend school.
So here’s the plan:
- I pay for my Continuing Education Credits
- I study and pass the test
- I pay the money and fill out the form
- I get my certificate back
With my certificate in hand by January, I will be able to look for a blood letting job and sign up for the online course for medical terminology and put on my resume that I know my education wasn’t very accredited but I am going to an accredited college that will teach me the right stuff, and by being so proactive in my education it will make me look like a good egg. Everyone wants good eggs, bad eggs smell to high heaven, and even if you get rid of them their odor lingers for days/weeks/months to come.
One thing I found out while researching state parks for California. They have a special pass for the disabled. You pay $2.50 for the form processing and then you get 1/2 off your cost for camping and day use of the park. I looked at there definition of “disability” and depression is one of them. I realize that as things are getting better for me in that arena I will need to apply for it soon while I’m still in this maelstrom of emotions. I want to start camping. Glamping for longer times in the wilderness, but camping for weekends anyway. I can afford that, it might be all that I will be able to afford for vacations in my life so I might as well embrace it now and get the stuff that I want and need for the wilderness experience.