Om. Om. O My!

I started meditation. But not guided meditation like before. The woman’s once soothing dulcet tones were starting to annoy me. So I decided to go the more Old School traditional. So I chant…….

Om Mani Padme Hum

Yes it feels silly some times but trying to remember the sounds takes a lot of my mental concentration. Each syllable has a meaning. For example Om means generosity or hum means wisdom. I say this to myself when I need to take a pause or when I have a pause and instead of doing I chant. I can’t say that it’s miraculously cured me, dang it, but I felt the hum of wisdom this morning while I was stuck in traffic already irritatingly late to work.

I guess what it basically boils down to is I’m scared. I’m scared that I won’t be able to handle the extra load of taking classes, that I’ll drive off the twisty-windy road and plummet to my death because my eye lids were too heavy to keep open during the coming and going to class. More likely than not it will prove too much for me and I’ll have to withdraw from class and take an F or incomplete and have to start all over again. Wisdom stepped in and calmed my mind and simply said:

“Not trying is guaranteed failure. Trying and failing is practice for the time you try and achieve.”

So I’m now trying to decide which is better. Going to a semester long class close to the ocean or two quarter classes close to home. I guess I need to keep Om Mani Padme Hum spinning along with my brain until something flys out at me.

What do you think I should do?

7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. wrsurya
    Aug 21, 2014 @ 21:41:48

    hello… mmm, interesting take on meditation and chanting, but from what you wrote here, it sounds like you are more distracted and stressed rather than relieved by all the chanting… ever thought of going zen-like by fully focusing on whatever thing you’re at – no matter how mundane…? several thought systems – meditation, philosophy or religion – would ask you to think of (A) while doing (B), but following zen principle, you would be better off focusing and minding (A) while you are doing (A)… translated: instead of thinking of god or cosmic energy or earth spirits – in however you take this – while preparing your meal, simply but fully focus on, let’s say, peeling the potatoes… fully immerse yourself in the peeling, don’t be the knife, don’t be the potato, just peel… then the next step… then the next…

    Reply

    • damynx
      Aug 22, 2014 @ 09:29:20

      Yes, stress and distraction are the themes of most days for me. Right now, the chanting is providing discipline. I don’t see me doing it forever, but I do want to establish the habit. I have looked into the Zen path, which seems to require more quiet than I am allowed these days. My mother requires the air to be filled with conversation. Since I am normally the only one with her, potato peeling would be punctuated with “Did you hear what President Obama did?” even though I just watched the first set of news shows with her an hour before. I do want to start mindfulness, which is Zen’ish I believe. But again, my mother’s need for conversation does not allow for immersion into those practices. And the medication and meditation are keeping me from yelling at her and telling her to shut up. 🙂

      Reply

  2. wrsurya
    Aug 21, 2014 @ 21:45:15

    oh, so my choice on your vote panel is none of the above… you’d be better off doing what is clearly more useful for you at the moment (and, perhaps, the immediate future, so to speak)… if it’s not useful or practical – for both the mind and the body – then it may just be a waste of your time and effort… in this already complex social-political system we’re so caught up in, why complicate life more? good luck!

    Reply

  3. wrsurya
    Aug 21, 2014 @ 21:46:06

    Reblogged this on wrsurya and commented:
    isolate… simplify… om… 🙂

    Reply

  4. wrsurya
    Aug 22, 2014 @ 13:27:16

    hello again… okay, it’s a given that i don’t exactly know the variables in your current situation, and i’m not assuming, as well… what i’m trying to say is, practising mindfulness doesn’t need to be in a separate time or space from even the most boring or the simplest in your routine; you mentioned conversing with your mom while peeling potatoes… then peel while peeling and speak while conversing, not the other way around – impirtant not to nick or cut yourself, of course… am i making any sense, or am i adding to the confusion…? let me know… 🙂

    Reply

    • damynx
      Aug 22, 2014 @ 13:32:19

      Yes you are making sense. And I understand what you are saying. I hope to be able to seamlessly practice meditation in my every day life. Because I’m easily distracted right now having the structure should help me Thank you for your help and insights.

      P.

      Reply

      • wrsurya
        Aug 22, 2014 @ 13:38:43

        you’re welcome, and my wishes of focus and discernment for you (not to say you aren’t focused or discerning, of course)… wishing that very step you take on your personal journey results in more clarity and meaning, no matter how otherwise each may seem… 🙂

        Reply

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