Though I am trying to embrace my inner child and not make some snarky remark about it, I have refrained from some of the other New Age philosophies of crystals for healing (I think they’re pretty, and I love what they’re supposed to represent, but I don’t use them in place of medication/medical servcies/common sense).  Just as the concept of “re-birthing”, trying to force yourself to remember emerging from the womb.  LIke ANYONE wants to have a visual passing through the cervex and vagina of their mother.  Ewww!  That said, I am completely in love with playing a heartbeat beneath all the sounds that I’m trying out to find what will put me straight to sleep, or at least comfortably to sleep.

I know you can do a repetitive sound and it will calm the baby and make them think they’re safe and back in the womb.  Well, it calmed this baby and I woke up so refreshed, so happy that it was down-right startling.  I felt so good about me, about life, about my jobs.  I was just plain happy.  It was as if all the medication, for one moment, worked in harmony and I was done.  So, the beat is going to go on as the third sound, the lowest sound and my mission while relaxing is to try and tease the stead thud-thum out from the crashing waves and crackling fire.

I need better sleep,I know that is a key if I want to get out of the void.  However, it’s at odds with my mother who is afraid I won’t hear her if she falls down in the middle of the night.  It’s a valid fear.  I sleep deep enough at times to sleep through a bomb explosion, but lately I just skim through the dreams and the skip off the slightest sound back into consciousness.  I realize I probably won’t have a full and complete night sleep until after Mom passes.  The question is, will I be able to hang on until then. My stress level is high enough for my doctor to want me to come in to have my blood pressure rechecked after having one high reading and to tell me not to exercise, just eat three meals a day for my diabetes and not to worry about anything else.  After having been lulled to sleep by the Tin Man of sorts, I feel like I’ve dropped almost half of the load that I have been carrying.  Yea Me!

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