I have felt so happy lately. Hopeful, happy and even, when I’m really still and listen really hard, I can feel joy. Of course I love this feeling until the darkness, which shrinks away from the lightness of my soul, whisperes (you’re always happy, just before you die.). Bastard. But it’s a real fear. It’s like I feel complete, that I’ve learned what I’ve needed to learn so I will depart from this earth, after wasting most of my time trying to get a grip, without becoming or completing my plans for this life. But then wake up the next morning, happy, hopeful and almost giddy to face another day. I am truly blessed.