Yea, who thought I’d ever see anything positive coming from this plague. While talking to Mom today about my writing and I realized the genesis of this life path started with a fit of anger. Yes, at twelve seems a little early to start such a path, considering my idea for a cool job was archeologist. (Actually, I still think that would be a cool job).
I don’t know the impetus of this current bout of anger, I just remember feeling the need to make myself stand apart from my family. I was going to show them that I would write a book and become a famous author without them knowing. Had I known then what I know now about the process of getting published, I think I might have stayed with the archeology. If Indiana Jones were a teacher/co-digger it would have sealed the deal.
Looking back over my words above, I realize I have become an archeologist. I’m digging out the secretes of the lost relics of my life. I’ve talked to my sisters about this and we all seem to agree that none of us can really remember a lot of our childhood, at least not as well as my mother seems to remember it, anyway. It’s time to pull out my old journals and read the memories, if I even recorded them. I’ve always used my journal more as an intellectual repository rather than the pavers in memory lane. I hope there are enough clues to lead me to enough of the lost memories to understand what makes me, well, me. Maybe if I rebuild my foundation I can rise from the emotional detritus, above the anger and become who I was meant to be.