Sarcasm, Just Another Word for Anger

So, I’m reading my anger book and it says that Sarcasm is a tell-tale sign of anger issues.  I can see where it is true, and how when I get frustrated and pissed-off I get ‘peckish’, as in I want to peck the heads off of people who are irritating me. I try to accomplish this  with serated sarcastic words.  Sad, I’ve always thought sarcasm is my best quality as a conversationalist. Now how am I going to communicate?

Ring Around the Depression

I’m tired of the good days, then the angry days, then the sleepy days and then pray for the return of the good days.  When I’m up, I’m hopeful that the bad days are gone, and dissappointed when they aren’t.  If I over-do one day I pay for it the next.  When will I build up the mental muscles to withstand the inevitable onslaught of exhaustion from day-to-day.

Getting upset yesterday that I wasn’t heard by my family was stupid.  When Anger Hurts is correct when it says you can’t make anyone change with the anger and getting angry at something this trivial is my choice.  I am the one that suffers from this choice, not them.  They don’t even know how rude they can be, and it’s been that way for as long as I have memory.  I think it’s Einstein that said to do something over and over again expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity.  I guess I’m insane.

Anger Anger Everywhere, Yet Not A Face to Slap

Okay. here I am thinking that I’m getting my anger under control, reading my book, having safeguards in my mind in case I feel one coming on, and then BOOM knocked on my ass again.  I’m explaining to Cyndi and Mom, mostly Cyndi that my diagnosis is Sever Depression, Severe Anxiety and just a touch of OCD.  Mom cracks wise about how she’s never seen me be OCD about house cleaning, Cyndi calls me Mrs. Monk.  I explained that I’m Mild in that category but I wanted to express to them what Severe Depression meant in todays standards…..Like normally in-hospital care has been prescribed for Severe depression.  No, something else became more important….I don’t remember what, just the sting that they felt what I was going through was trivial compared to whatever it was they needed to talk about.

I know it’s who they are, I shouldn’t set my expectations so high with the two of them, but I keep hoping…….